var request = require("request"); const notifier = require('node-notifier'); function lol() { console.log('lol') } request( { uri: "https://forums.somethingawful.com/banlist.php" }, function(error, response, body) { extractSummary(body); function extractSummary(iCalContent) { var usernameregex = /k">(.*?)<\/b><\/td>(.*?)(.*?)<\/a><\/b><\/td>/gi; // I am going to use a lot of regex var dateregex = /<\/td>(.*?)<\/td>/gi; var username = usernameregex.exec(iCalContent); var reason = reasonregex.exec(iCalContent); var type = typeregex.exec(iCalContent); var date = dateregex.exec(iCalContent); console.log(`Type: "${type[1]}", Date: "${date[2]}", Username: "${username[1]}", Reason: "${reason[1]}" `); } }); //target="new">(.*?), k">(.*?)<